Nowhere You Can Be
by hiptothejive
Summary: Across the Universe Fic. Trailer up now. What really would have happened if Jude never came back to America after being exported? Rated T to be safe. R&R!
1. Trailer

**Disclaimer: **I wish i owned Across the Universe, but sadly i dont.

**Author's Note:** Just a trailer so far!!

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**Nowhere You Can Be  
**

**So, What really would have happened if Jude never returned?  
Is life bareable without each other?  
**_Jude see's the paper and reads about the explosion._  
_Lucy falls to the ground in tears.  
Jude staring at a picture of Lucy.  
Lucy heavily drinking.  
Jude overdosing.  
Gunshot._  
**Maybe there is really a place you can be, where you aren't meant to be.**

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**So I hope you all will like it. Stay tuned for the story. Review with idea's and comments please.**

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	2. Lucy

**Disclaimer: **I wish i owned Across the Universe, but sadly i dont.

**Rated T:** For language, sex referance, drug/alcohal usage and referance, and weapon usage

**Author's Note:**okay so i am going to tell this tragic tale in 2 chapters, one being Lucy's story and the other will be Jude's. It will be happening basically in the same time frame, but im still telling each of their stories in 2 different chapters. This will be Lucy's and the next one will be Jude's. Hope you all like it! oh! and thank you to everyone that reviewed and alerted my story so far!! and keep in mind this taked place after Jude is exported.

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**Nowhere You Can Be  
**_Lucy's Story_

Lucy was sitting by the river with Max on a gloomy day. Max seemed to be deep in thought, as was she. She looked down to see the same broken up, burnt log that Jude once touched. Once used to make a beautiful work of art, of herself. That was the day she fell for him, the day she truly knew what love. The day that is forever lost. She reached down and broke off a piece of that log. Memories flashed through her head. She and Jude were sitting there, talking about Daniel, Max, war, but Max was back, safe, sitting before her, what she wanted more than anything, and risked so much to get, and yet she still wasn't truly happy. She looked back at the wall Jude drew on, his masterpiece fading. She became lost in her own thoughts when Max interrupted.

"Luce?" He spoke softly. "Lucy, come on, let's get home." He reached for Lucy's hand to help her up and she took it. He hugged his sister and began to sing.

"Don't you know it's gunna be, all right.." His voice faded. Lucy knew he was only trying to comfort her, but only one voice could do that, and she knew she would never hear it again. She fought back tears as they walked home.

They reached the house, Sadie and Jojo were there, back together, discussing there next appearence, which from what Lucy heard was to be on a roof in the middle of the city. But she wasn't really listening. She smiled weakly at them and walked into her room, the room she once shared with Jude. The layed on the bed, the bed they made love in on so many occasions. More memories. She couldn't take it, she stood up and walked into the room where Jude worked. His room. She looked around at the walls, the remained the same, for she couldn't bare to take his sketches down. She turned and saw the strawberry. Her favorite. It was still there. She could still hear Jude talking about it, how excited he was, and she didn't even care. 

_"I got a job." He paused. "As in will pay you to do it." She replied, unenthusiastically, but he continued. "Its a label for Sadie's record company. It's a stawberry. You know, red, juicy, sexy. Get it?" Her paused. "No..No" He mumbled to himself and turned away to continue sorting the laundry. _

He was so happy to get that job. And what was her response? _Why were you so rude to Paco? Paco, Paco, Paco. A lot of good Paco has done for me now._ She thought. At this point, she was on the ground in tears, which was not new. In fact, she spent most of her time crying these days, after the explosion at SDR, and Jude, _Jude. Gone, because of me. If I hadn't packed. If.. If I hadn't left him, If I hadn't gone to that rally, he would still be here._ She loved him, and yet she was going to leave him. For what? An Anti-War Radical group that did no good at all except blowing themselves up in the end? Max was home. So were millions of other soldiers, but did the SDR have anything to do with that?

She got the strength to get up and went right into the kitchen. She pulled out a bottle of alcohal and went into her room, drinking herself to sleep on another cold night.

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_A few days later._

Lucy was walking down the street, Sadie's voice guiding her.  
_Don't let me down,  
Don't let me down,  
Don't let me down,  
Don't let me down_  
She knew she was close when she saw a mob of people surrounding the building.  
_Nobody ever love me like he does,_  
She pushed her way to the front and was about to go in when she saw it.  
_Oh he does_  
The stawberry._  
__Yeah he does,  
_That God damn strawberry.  
_And if somebody love me like you do_  
She couldn't do this anymore.  
_Oh she do  
_She couldn't live like this anymore.  
_Yeah she does  
_She couldn't live. Just having to listen to this song was fucking torture. She could be up on the roof right now, with Jude, singing and dancing. In each other's arms. How she longed for his touch. Just for him to know she loved him, for him to know she never stopped. To apologize.  
_Don't let me down,  
Oh im in love for the first time,  
Don't'cha know its gonna last.  
Its the love that lasts forever,  
Its the love that has no past._  
She couldn't. She turned and walked back through the crowd slowly, the voices and cheers fading in the backround.

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Max was on the roof, talking to Prudence.

"Pru, have you seen Lucy?"

"I thought I saw her in the streets."

"Did you give her the right adress?"

"Yeah, I know I did. She will probably be here soon Max, don't worry."

"I can't help it Pru, she is my baby sister, and she has been really down lately. I just don't want her doing something that could hurt her or that she will regret. I think I'm going to go down and look for her."

"Want me to come?"

"No, I'll go by myself, but thanks." He hugged Prudence and went down the stairs out into the street. He was getting worried.

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Lucy walked out of the local liquor store with more alcohal than she had probably ever drank in her life. She told them she was throwing a party, but she wasn't sure if they bought it. None the less she had it. Now she just had one less stop to make.

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Max felt as if he had searched the whole city for his sister, even though it was only a few square blocks. _Shit, I'm out of shape. _He had a gut feeling that something was wrong. Something horrible. And after being in the military, his sense were pretty keen. He decided to go to the appartment and see if she was there. He had a spare key so even if she wasn't, he would stay and wait. After about a half hour of walking, he reached the appartment. He pulled out his key and opened the door. He looked around, no sign of his sister. He saw an empty bag of liquor on the table, but blew it off. He walked around and saw that Jude's door was cracked open. He walked towards it and opened the door a little more, before bursting it open as a reaction to what he saw. 

Lucy was on the ground, red paint and strawberries surrounding her, for she had never cleaned up Jude's room. She was crying, clearly drunk, with empty liquor bottles on her lap, a half empty one in her hand.

"Lucy!" He ran to her.

"Stop Max! Just stop!" He obeyed, stopping right in his tracks. She continued, "You can't save me anymore. No one can. It's over."

"Luce, what are you talking about?"

"I'm alone, Max. All alone. And its my fault. All my fault."

"You're drunk you don't know what you're talking ab-"

"Yes I do Max! Jude is gone! He was exported out because he was arrested! And do you wanna know why he was arrested? Why the fucking asshole cops took him? Because of me. If I had just listened to Jude, if I had just listened..." She began to break down and cry harder.

"Luce, none of this is your fault. Don't blame yourself. Shit, Lucy, stop drinking and get up. Everyone is here for you. We know what you're going through."

"Oh really? You think you fucking know what I'm going through? Well let me tell you something, you don't. No one does. And how could I not blame myself? I let SDR run my life. That came first, and it shouldn't have. Jude should have. But Paco, the seducer of young, vulnerable women, in the words of Jude, he led me to believe that I didn't need Jude. All that mattered was stopping the war. And you know what? HE WENT AND BLEW HIMSELF UP! ALL THAT TIME I PUT, INTO THAT GROUP, GONE! AND WHAT DO I HAVE TO SHOW FOR IT? NOTHING! THE LAST TIME I SAW HIM HE WAS BEING FUCKING BEAT TO THE GROUND AT THAT GOD FORSAKEN RALLY!" Max saw Lucy reach into a bag, assuming another bottle would come out, but it wasn't.

"Lucy, put it down." She was loading the gun.

"Why? So I can deal with more grief and shit every fucking day? I'm not doing it anymore Max."

"Lucy, Please," He was unsuccessfully trying to fight back tears as he watched his sister put the gun to her head. "Just put it down."

"It's over Max. I love you. I'm sorry."

"LUCY, DON'T!" It was too late. The sound of the gunshot drowned out Max's shout. His sister fell to the ground, lifelessly. Max felt as if he couldn't breathe, like a huge, strong, stone man had punched him, right in his stomache. He fell to the ground, no longer able to hold himself up, tears streaming like a raging river down his face. He managed to move his eyes from his sister, to other area's of the room. He saw Jude's strawberry. There was a note on it. He managed to lift himself up and walk over to it. He ripped the note off the painting, and read:

_Dear Max, Sadie, Jojo, Prudence, and anyone else it may concern, _

For anyone who is reading this right now, I'm sorry for leaving you, I truly am. But I couldn't deal with it anymore. The constant reminder of what I once had. Jude, Love, Happiness. It's gone now. All I had were painful memories of what once was. Don't worry, and don't grieve, because I'm in a better place now. It's going to be all right, even if it wasn't for me.

XOXO Lucy.

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**Not really sure what you all thought about that but, R&R! I'd love to hear your opinions and I'm open to suggestions for Jude's story. Stay tuned for his. **

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	3. Jude pt1

**Disclaimer: **I wish i owned Across the Universe, but sadly i dont.

**Rated T:** For language, sex referance, drug/alcohal usage and referance, and weapon usage

Author's** Note: **hey guyss, so i just want to aplogize for making all you guys sad when Lucy died, and for taking so long to update, i understand completely what you guys were trying to say. but the story is going to have somewhat of a Romeo and Juliet twist, so it had to be that way. You guys will just have to read Jude's story to find out what I mean. Thanks to everyone that read and reviewed so far! I am changing it from a twoshot to a three or four shot cause i really wanted to update but i haven't finished thinking it all through yet. Hopefully you will check out my other stories and my future ATU fics. x3

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**Nowhere You Can Be  
**_Jude's Story  
_  
AMERICAN ANTI-WAR RADICALS  
KILLED IN HOMEMADE BOMB BLAST!

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The cover of the Daily Newspaper in Liverpool. Jude just happened to have some extra money and thought he would pick one up. He stared at the paper, unable to believe what he had just read, but there it was, clear as day. His mind was racing, his heart was beating beyond rapidly, and he began to shake as he crumpled up the newspaper and tore it up into millions of pieces being blown everywhere by the wind. Memories flooded his mind of all of the times in New York City. _With Lucy_. _She can't be gone._ Jude kept telling himself that, but he knew whether he believed it or not she wasn't there anymore. 

Jude, after hours of sitting and walking around the shore, decided to head home. On his way, his mind wandered to all those crazy times in New York. Sitting by the Hudson River with Lucy, drawing that picture, being chased by that idiot of a cop. He laughed to himself. He believed that was the day that Lucy fell in love with him. Now for him, it was at the bowling ally, the night him and Max took off to New York._ Max. I wonder how he is doing._ He missed his best friend. Hell, he was a brother. He remembered meeting Max at Princeton. _He looked like such a nerd,_ he thought. With that big stack of books he was carrying and all of the papers. Jude laughed again. People on the street probably thought he was crazy, laughing into thin air, but Jude didn't care.

He finally reached his house, he smelled a delicious dinner his mom made. That's about the only thing he missed in New York, but now, he missed so much more.

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As he ate, his mind kept drifting back to Lucy. He tried to stop it, but his heart overpowered his mind. At this point he was trying to hold back his tears. 

"So, hun, how was your day?" His mother asked, noticing his lack of attention. Jude didn't respond, "Jude?" She asked again.

"Hmm. What? Sorry."

"How was your day?" Jude cringed a little but his mother didn't seem to notice. _Absolutely fucking horrible. I found out the girl I love probably died in an explosion after she left me and I was deported for trying to help her while she was being dragged away by the cops. Horrible._

"Fine. It was fine." This time his mother picked up a little on his bitterness. He could tell she was trying t be sympathetic, but it really wasn't working at all.

"Do you miss the city?"

"More than you could possibly know." Jude couldn't take the conversation anymore. "The dinner was great, mum." He placed his plate in the sink and went upstairs.

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After a few hours of staring at the ceiling and thinking about Lucy, Jude realized there was only one solution. He sat up and quietly walked downstairs. His mother was in the shower, so he was in the clear. He walked into her room. He heard the water stop, and began to rush. He found them. His mother's medication. He cracked the case open and poured a handful of pills into his hand. He tipped his hand down and watched one by one as the pills fell to the ground. 

"Jude." His mother whispered, just loud enough for him to hear. A tear rolled down her cheek, "What are you doing?"

"I don't know. I can't do this anymore. Mum, the girl I love died in an explosion."

"Go back to New York."

"For what? I don't need anymore stuff to deal with."

"So you can get some closure. Didn't she have a brother? I'm sure he is having a horrid time. Maybe both of you could use a friend." His mom was right. In fact, he hadn't once thought about Max or anyone else besides his loss. What a selfish bastard I am..., he thought. He gave his mother a hug and a few tears slid down his cheeks.

"Thanks, mum. You're sure you don't mind me leavin'?" His mother shook her head, "It's something you need to do, why should I stop you?"

"So I guess I'm off to New York then!" He walked upstairs to pack. He was up in his room, and when the sunlight illuminated his face, some could call what he had on his face, a smile.

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**So hopefully you guys like my story. Kinda short... but i haven't updated in... forever. so R&R! please! haha. **


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